Alexz Johnson's New Album, "Voodoo" Review.

“Voodoo”

Voodoo:
The introductory track to Alexz Johnson’s long awaited album, Voodoo, Succeeded at giving the listener a front seat to the world of Alexz’s vibe, and truth-bound inspired lyrics. Like those of Chicago, Rent, and recent -Runaways, this album shows promise of being the next rock-opera/musical inspired motion picture film. Through her eclectic-jazzy-electro-symphonic-pop-rock influenced music, and her pronounced mature-bluesy vocals, Alexz and brother Brendan, make this anticipated album a big hit!
Her lyrics are awe inspiring, divulging an experience, induced by the truths of the industry. Voodoo expresses plenty in few words. The rawness of being held captive in an industry that only shows ultimatums and conditional promise. With lyrics like, “I know you’re looking at your shadow/And getting by by the kindness of strangers/You got me wearing my stilettos/And now I’m looking out for any kind of danger/You got the prowl of a tiger/Ya baby I can see your stripes…” her metaphor goes the distance to express her dissonance with the labels of the ‘titans’.


Gonna Get it:
Grab your tambourine, because this track is a crowd pleaser. Gonna get it, opens with a shout of rhythmic frustration. The second track on this senior album trails more of what the listeners wanted from Voodoo, which is music-laden-truth. Opening lyrics, “Maybe it’ll never come around/Maybe let you push me to the ground/I’ll go ’cause if I don’t it’s taking me down/And I deal ’cause none of it is real/I deal ’cause I’m covering to heal/I’ll go no need to reap the seeds that I sow…” and a ‘Na-na-na-na-na’ attitude, express her vindication, validation against her neglecting ‘past’. Ms. Johnson’s music found a more supportive label, which allowed her to benefit equally and grow. Alexz shows promise of not succumbing to the bellows of the industry, and lets her voice shine with an “Ooh” that’ll get you weak in the knees!

Look At Those Eyes:
A reflective piece, initiated by a mellow synthesizer, then, the electric guitar hits its queue. Opening lines, “…I see the flicker of the pain on the rise/Oh my look at those eyes/Maybe they're like mine/Things I wish I did not see/I push away all the dirt and debris/But what'll be left of me/No tell me it's not so/That people will come and they'll go/We push away all the love that we know/No tell me it's not so…” evoke the relentlessness and the connection to ‘what’ she’s seen, thus, the experiences are the crux of deep-seeded feelings of leaving a ‘work of art’ behind, as it’s scattered to the wind like debris. Close your eyes as you listen, and imagine music from the opening scene of ‘Kill Bill’, allow the energy and desertedness it exudes to wash over you, as you are in the moment. It’s the “Dirty Harry” / “High Noon” scene, except, it’s Alexz vs. The industry. Look at those eyes, has a mixture of different musical textures that create this exuberant pop ballad. Wherever you are, whatever you’re doing, this track reminds you, no matter what, you’re not alone. As the music and momentum pick up speed, like the wings of an eagle in Native American folktales, joined by the beat of the (bongos/drums) it gives flight, which is often sought during times of much needed freedom. The climactic vibrancy of strings that bring in the soul of an orchestra turns that old dusty black-and-white saloon, into a beautifully lit ambient amphitheatre, with Alexz on stage. Not forgetting those who turned their backs, she still reached her oasis in a desert, bringing the track to a close; once she’s reached home, “but what’ll be left of me?” her voice ironically trails away like debris. Acknowledging she knows- you know it’s her that’s strong and still lingers like the wind.

L.A. Made Me:
This track has ‘Performance Art’ written all over it. The fourth track on Voodoo is made for the stage! The entire album is absolutely tireless; every track is a single in its own rite. Voodoo is an album of singles. So listen up! For everyone out there who thinks LA will make his or her dreams come true, it does at a price. LA, “L.A, L.A why so shady? /I'll do it, / I'll do it, / I'll do it, / I'll do what you say/She said/she said: L.A won't let me go, / L.A owns my soul/L.A won't let me go, / L.A owns my soul…” is a provocative, heart-felt, fearless track that exemplifies the unabashed hidden agenda of what the industry is capable of once you relinquish your right to exist –so to speak. LA, is a juxtaposition of emotions as it starts you off smiling, and brings you to tears, as it closes.

A Little Bit:
This track makes me smile! It could sneak into a motion picture soundtrack out there!!
A Little Bit, is that song that gets the crowd clapping, jumping and makes ‘em start dancing. I recommend listening to this track with some headphones, the ‘gimme love-reverb’ part alongside the bass and Xylophone mixed in, will even make you feel sexy! (2:35-2:40-this part of the track makes me go crazy in love) Alexz Johnson has the kind of voice that resonates with your soul. With harmonies laden bittersweet bass and ambient melodies, “It's only gonna get crazy/If you let me give you away/ when you call me your baby, / It's all okay/ It's only gonna get messy/If you’ve got dirt on your floor/And when you told me you want me/I want you more, / yeah I want you more…” will definitely be on your next mix! You know this song is a chick-pick, but a good one at that! So listen up and pay attention! This one’s for you guys, she likes your sweater because it smells like you, so give your lady more than a little bit of love!

Mr. Jones:
Who is Mr. Jones? What is this about? Why is he ‘stepping in, to step out’? Imagine The music video takes place in a 1920’s burlesque/saloon, inspired by some New Orleans soul. The color theme here is black and red. The song evokes the sensuality and temptation of the allegorical ‘business man’. Mr. Jones is an ambient, synthesized pop song exploiting the need to always be someplace else…hmm, the secret agent/double identity interjection leading up a hotel room, which happens to be the Ritz, which is introduced by the second verse, “Fine dine better wine then the rest/He's got looks to kill/In touch, but never too much/Oh no alone left with the bill/Black hat/, Cadillac, / lots of cash/Lots at stake/Quick wits/ got a room at The Ritz/Can't judge a man by what he makes…” This song is symbolic of what really happens behind closed doors, with execs, and a briefcase that may have texts/songs, which could have been published, but coincidentally vanished?! -Just a guess…

Superstition:
An emotive introduction transcends into the new road, Alexz coincidentally ‘wandered’ onto. Her lyrics, ” My hands are ice/It's out of my control/It's a change of heights, see/I wandered off the road…” are demonstrative of the transgressions between the record label and Alexz. “Her hands are ice”, is allegorical to how cold blood can run, due to deception and unsettling news. As it settles in, she sings, “So what is coming? /It's out of my control/You see I've got no power/It's just electrical cords/But there's a superstition/Hang on to the hope/See if there's a vision/You've gotta let it show. /I'm looking in the mirror/I'm in the middle/Staying alive/I'm trying not to fear her/There's too much static/She's hard to fight…” The seventh track “Superstition” is poignant, resolute and melodically emotes the internal struggle and deception of which was present. If you read between the lines, so to speak, you’ll know who the she is. Alexz is in the mirror representing the fact that it’s her in the middle and can only do little. The only thing to do, is relinquish the ties that bound her. Powerless Alexz is perceived; yet so powerful she is with her vision and gift of music, thus “Superstition” emerges and soars!

Trip around the world:
The epitome of “Voodoo” is “Trip around the world”. This track has the allegretto you seek and conveys the certainty of the matter: being in the’ biz’ as a real artist and not a manufactured, overproduced and recycled image. At the end of the day, it’s always about money to the people in three-piece suites and briefcases. Alexz can only do what she does best, find a positive outlook by overcoming the fetters of the music industry, “You love it, I love it, I love it when you're free/Anyway you look at it it's how it's meant to be/Nine to five is becoming a disease/Not even a second left to bandage up your knee/Make the rules to your own game/Sip your champagne and tell ‘em where to get some/At the end of the day enjoy the taste/We're on a big balloon floating in space…”
Alexz has a reassuring way letting the listeners know, she’s not going anywhere and she’s here to stay! “Trip around the world” will get anyone singing.

Hurricane Girl:
We all grow up, yet Alexz and Brendan give you the ninth track on this fantastic album, “Hurricane Girl”. It seamlessly shows the maturity and personal growth of a multitalented twenty-four year old woman. Alexz’s profound depth of emotion is set in her voice. “Show me love, show you love/It's like a trick, we have to rise above/Let me face you in the eyes/Let you know that when I did, I die/Oh we came that way…” Not always can you find an artist that keeps her consistency with its indie-pop-rock vibe and poetic symbolism, while still managing to connect her new found independence with her listeners. Hurricane Girl assuredly puts the image of Alexz on an open road, back on track with a fusion of hurt, growth and a guitar on her back. This song should definitely be released acoustic. You may need a tissue, because once you connect, you’ll know.

Taker:
“Taker” starts off acoustic and in strikes the symphony. The symphony isn’t just the strings; it’s Alexz and her climactic voice. Taker appears to express the feelings of rage and love combined to create a doorway into her mind and spirit. Alexz is that of an evasive wounded artist, whose words are written above self-infliction and self-deprecation. Her resistance in trying to break free from the tears of trying so hard to defend what she believes in. Yet through the eyes of Alexz in the eyes of the stubborn Steven, it was Alexz who was the taker, when in reality the roles are reversed. His mind could only see it’s her to blame. Taker is not just a song about the trouble of two people who love; it’s also about what happens in the interim of life and the tug-of-war while in a relationship. Taker exudes Alexz’s quest for redemption and independence. With words like, “She's says: "Forgive me! / I didn't mean to!"/Full of every burden and she's full of every lie/She'll leave you dry/Sore on the floor/Salt in your eyes and a wound in your soul/Don't forgive her/Don't believe/She's on a mission and this girl is me…” it’s evident Alexz went through one of life’s most agonizing and beautiful experiences, and that’s falling in and out of love at this age. The irony is: throughout the track, Alexz seems to castigate herself, yet in the end it’s her that has the liberation she sought. “You think you know/ think you know/ think you know, / but you don't/You think you're right /think you're right/ think you're right, / but you're wrong…” Its only songs like these that make you realize Alexz is still a person, who lives and experiences life like the rest of us. The only difference is, Alexz can do it, make a song about it, and lets you know you’re not alone.

Boogie love:
“Boogie love” is the song you want to hear live in an outdoor concert, with the sun shining, and the grass dancing underneath your toes, with the same respect hearing it as the sun sets. This song exudes celebration. “Hey mister/I'll whisper a message to deliver/
On fire/No liar could ever say that you're not smokin'/you're smokin'/Yeah, we're smokin'…” Those lyrics are just the beginning of ‘painting the picture’ of just how good things are, and how uplifted Alexz was. It would definitely be the ending song at the end of the rock-musical we call Voodoo ::smirk:: Only can the electric guitar, drums, and backup-vocals with audio-background-effect display the realism of how wonderful it is to know you succeeded and had the support of dearly loved ones- and Alexz did just that. Boogie love has the absolution and vindication you wanted for Alexz since the beginning of “Voodoo”. The order in which these tracks were placed is absolutely perfect. I congratulate Alexz and Brendan, for they couldn’t have picked a better track to close the album with. Funny thing too, put the entire album on repeat, and Boogie love doesn’t seem to feel like the end. There could be another album in the works. I can’t wait to hear it!

This album can be the soundtrack to your life, wherever you may be. The lyrics can be understood through any context, albeit, Voodoo reflects Alexz's journey with the industry and her own personal battles; however, it can also apply to anyone's personal journey and growth through a time of struggle and doubt, for herein Voodoo exemplifies a universal connection through music, lyrics and love!

Check out http://www.alexz.net/?p=1007 for more info on Alexz Johnson!

Dreams...

Ever have that dream that you don't want to wake from because it's too real and enjoyable? Well I'm just awakening from mine and so ready to tell...

Here goes..

It's night time, and  setting was as if I was outside of a brick-built bar w/ neon blue and red lights. Music flew out of the bar every time someone swung open the door...

One thing leads to another (by which I mean, I don't remember the interim) and night became day. The next thing I know I'm in this beautiful house!!

Who's house was I in ? How did I get there?

Well it happened to be the fabulously talented Alexz Johnson! It's like I knew her, but she forgot she knew me, and thought I was just a 'fan'

I was so offended! I wasn't there for an autograph (cause I can care less), as far as I knew, I was just going over a friend's house.

Here's the description of the house.

2-3 stories? I know there's stairs, just never went up to know how many levels,

Wooden banister, white walls or carpet on the right side.

Passing the stairs (left) was the den, with an arc opening. So clean and has hard wood floors!

Ok so you walk into The den, on the right is the piano, to The left of the piano there's a sofa giving its 'back' to The piano, yet faces a twin sofa with a coffee table in the middle.

We end up in the den, Alexz and I, and I'm so frustrated because she won't take me seriously, she's acting like a premadonna, but I KNOW that's not how she really is. Defense mechanism I guess, I tried explaining that we met before, and how I've wanted to meet her since we were kids. I distinctly remember telling her, " 'cause you're watching over me' was my first download of yours, from 'so weird', your voice moves my soul!" She was laying on her back on the floor, stretching or something,  but it wasn't until I made her get her guitar that she got up.

I knew I was there for a reason. If I didn't astral project myself, then it must have been a dream...anyhoo,

I patiently waited on the sofa that is FACING the piano. To my left I look over and I see a large sliding glass door and a pool..(hmph which is odd, cause when I woke up I thought beach, but  the more I think about it, it seems to be a pool)

So I'm sitting there, waiting, looking out the window waiting...

She comes back w/ her guitar and she starts strumming and humming..

She starts singing and gets stuck...

I join in and try to get her song out, inevitably ended up helping her finish a few songs that she couldn't complete.

We were sitting next to each other like brother and sister.

'Is this really happening?' I ask myself.

It was a dream...

If this was a movie or scene, the camera would pan out and fade out as we sing.

Then I woke up.

Man, I'd love that to come true!

Alexz, this one's for YOU!!

Thanks for being born! Xoxo

Till next time, keep that smile on your mouth and Love in your heart!

Good day!

Today 's the day, when all your dreams come true! As I woke up to the serenity of birds chirping, I try to remember my dream...

Now it's not that I want this dream to manifest, but I remember seeing many ships in the sky, good ones, if you will, and they were flying around like it's normal and the thing to do...

The next thing I remember, I'm walking into a bar or club, went up stairs in search of a bathroom, it was run down and had brown, short length carpet, it was as if THOSE 'restrooms' used to be rooms..

My dream took a small turn into the world of sex, and the bathroom was never the same again...

Here's the weird part, the walls of these rooms were shorter than that of a public restroom's stall wall...I look up and there's people in front of me, well facing me from the other side of a wall, looking straight at me, but not, as if they were looking in the mirror. After a few waves of my hand, I realized it all came together at once.

It was a family style restaurant with a bathhouse in the upstairs; and that wall was double sided glass, one sided mirror, a-ha, exhibitionism/voyeurism that was the reason for the glass wall...kinky.

But what I don't get is why I have to watch people wash their hands, while 'getting it on'?'

Hmmm..weird. what's with all the sex everywhere in my dreams?!!?

I know there's a meaning for all this, and it all makes sense now. What I want to know is...

What's next???

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bed time thoughts...

so ok, I'm a guy, and I have needs, lol! ok who doesn't, but still, as I stand here finger blogging while I wait for my tea to finish steeping, I can't stop but to acknowledge the thought I had, of someone from the past stopping by to say hello...in the midst of all this happening (in my 'thought'), it occurs to me why he is here...he's a guy with needs! that sure came full circle.

ooh, I think I hear the timer, tea is done...sweet dreams tea, a mix of chamomile and mint...perfect with a cig!

see, now it's not that I wouldn't mind a little innocent fun, however, why now? why all this in the midst of such a transition?
hmph...

one thing's for sure, I won't know until it happens..

Thoughts...

So I lay here on the sofa, and contemplate my navel. It's 12:19am, and I'm so relaxed I don't want to move for the next 5 minutes. I know I should be in bed right now, but honestly, I think I am finally readjusting to the real time....not even five minutes..gotta throw the trash away and off to bed.

Night..

P.s. no hotties spotted today.  :P

Charmed

I find comfort in turning on a DVD and watching charmed. It's relaxing...season four, episode one+two, "charmed again" I then take time out to check the latest headlines, Japan just had a 6.6 magnitude earthquake, which leads me to believe..and connect the dots...Japan was once connected to Seattle, Washington, but due to polar shifts they became different continents all together.

Well if south America is shifting ten feet west, this affects the pacific, and Japan having an earthquake will have massive cataclysmic effects on the pacific coast.

Uhhmmm...

That's all I have to say about that.

But I mean seriously though, why does all this happen?

Mother Nature/Earth is pissed off, it's only natural for earth to react the way she does...manmade or not, these quakes are just a reflection of how we treat the earth and must give love back.

::mental breath::

So I sit back with my peanut butter twix, and watch the ending of "charmed again" with a cigarette in one hand and a cup of chamomile tea in the other.

As I reach for the cherry Pepsi beside me, I anticipate my tea.

As the thought of it warms me..

Onward...

Happy 3:10am

Goodnight.

Freedom

Finally fighting your way through the darkness of blatant corporate nothingness, and finding the light of serenity and the calm from within.

I realize now everything I've posted up until now was so pointless and meaningless ...well looking in retrospect it is now. At those times,  my feelings were valid, time and place for everything, I know, and it's also the steps we take in life that take us where we end up. 

We are in charge of our own life, it's up to each individual to make the sacrifices, and adjustments to be capable of living a life of love and harmony.

It feels so free-ing to release myself from eight years of servantude, I'm done making coffee!!

Now that I found an app for my phone, I'll be blogging more frequently..at least I intend to...

Clocks in ahead tonight!!

anxiety, adrenaline, the rush in your veins
feel it run in your blood, thrust itself through every heartbeat and gorge itself from within.

I dont understand most married men and their need to flirt with me...this reminds me of margaret cho's: beautiful!

Jesus and the Fountain of Youth...

Where do I even begin??

What part of I'm not interested in conversing don't certain individuals understand?

Do I have a sign on me that reads, "Talk to me if you have something stupid to say"?
I mean really people. Needless to say, instinctively by nature I'm nice, so I just go with the flow, that is, until I get really uncomfortable in the situation. I mean uncomfortable to the point where I become an asshole. By which I mean, I don't give in to bullshit, stupidities or unoriginal dumb-dumbs. I choose to not allow myself to be in those 'sticky-itchy' situations (avoiding them). If a person I don't fancy too much approaches me with the desire to give me a welcoming embrace (hug) and I choose not to, I won't. Why? Why not?! If I'm clearly not feeling the person, why should I 'put on a face' for the sake of looking good? I'd rather it looks like it looks, than to endure a second of being in contact with negative or dirty energy. By defending my personal space, I channel less energy about that individual.
Travel back in time to 1994, I was in the fifth grade. The class was putting on the 5th grade show. Well this girl Lauren, (I will spare her last name for the sake of respect) from elementary school through middle school she was pretty fucked up, considering how mean she could be...demeanor and all... Let me just tell you, in the sixth grade, this girl pushed me in front of a bus. and yelled to the bus driver, "Run him over!!" Clearly everything was fine, it's just the principle!!!
So here's the story...
Towards the end of the year (5th grade), things were going a bit sour with Lauren and me. The 'Broadway Review' (our show) was a day or two away and we were growing apart, we weren't very fond of each other. .. [Now let me tell you, it sounds like we're best friends but we never were. Lauren was the tall, pretty, mischievous girl that fit in with all the kids. If she wanted to bully you, she could and would.]
It's the night of our show, and I really wanted to be friends with her at this point, but she's still too mean. whatever. We fight, she pushes me, I kick her in the shins, and then the lights flash and we have to go to our places - behind the curtain this all happened. She told me she was going to crush my hand during the curtain call. I believe her words were along the lines of, " I will crush your hand..." that sounds traumatizing to a fifth grader. fucking cunt! So we do our scenes, songs and dances, then we need to do our bow.
If you know about putting on shows in school, the bow is one of the most important parts of the end of the show. So Lauren and I are supposed to join both sides by holding hands or something.
Can you believe in front of a crowded auditorium I would not grab her hand. I tried to avoid grabbing her hand, and moved away inch by inch...it looked really bad. I looked racist. People said I wouldn't hold her hand because she was black. I mean really?! Don't even play that card when your ten years old! I saw the video and it looked worse than how I felt. None of the teachers cared about what my reason was. Can you believe it? Nonetheless, she ended up smacking me after the curtain closed. I tell you complete bullshit!! At that age I was able to know the difference between energy and mean people.

Fast forward to now..2009.
Welcome back.
You see where I'm coming from? People may have thought I was racist, but they never knew the truth. This isn't about race, it's about principle.

Well this morning a man or pastor comes into my store. I ring him up, check the store, and take my ten minute break. He comes up to me and asks me, "Have we spoken before??" to which I reply, "I don't know, have we?" LOL !ROTF!! I mean really?! Was this a pick-up line, cause he's a little too mature for my taste. I mean eew! OK So I play it coy..his next words were, "Have you taken Jesus into your heart?" I'm like really?! "Um no. no thank you sir" suffice it to say, I told him I could be rude, but I wanted to be nice to him..jeez is it because maybe he's a patron?
Talk about proselytism!!! I mentioned I'm Jewish, he didn't care. I told him I grew up orthodox and he didn't care. I told him I'm into Jewish Mysticism and he still didn't care! I mean can't a guy take a hint?! I was really happy I finished my cigarette, because that meant I could politely walk away and pseudo-end my break. I don't think I ever met a man so pro-Jesus, that felt he had to make everyone around him follow his beliefs. He even bragged about how he turned one of his Jewish friends into a Jews for Jesus...I mean really? I get it. I get why people approach others in such a manner, and the reasons behind it, but really? I said no to Jesus the first five times he asked..why did he insist on badgering?
Jesus!

And then two days ago, in the morning, a guy comes in and orders a mocha. . .
He seemed kinda quiet, so I thought I'd make conversation. I liked his hat, so I commented on how cool it was. then there was a pause. and without missing a beat, he leans in and says, "You know my dick is the fountain of youth"...I tried to say something back but I just kept stuttering and blushing...I had to go to the back room and talk to my boss. I mean Who says that?!?!? What should I have said?
something like, "Well if you are, how come you look so old..." but that's mean..or should I have said, "Well do you drink from tap?" ..I know gross...What can I say, if it's not one extreme it's another. Hey, I wasn't the one talking about the walking fountain of youth that hides in my pants OK! I'm just saying...
Aah! Don't you just love people??

So have you taken Jesus into your heart? if not, my dick is the fountain of youth!
Yeah..that fucker's on MY list!!!......asshole!

The Ambiguous Crush

I have an ambiguous crush, that's it. Plain and simple.
Ambiguous crush. I just like the way it sounds.

Exotic, quixotic, and slightly hypnotic, in the way we connect, yet hesitate to connect with one another on the level which we supposedly choose to avoid, yet not devoid from the truths we have inside.

It's that reminiscence of high school childhood, and the times of the innocent crush. And the I-can't-wait-to-see-you-feeling, with the butterflies. except for the time being it's all pretty much one sided.

I can tell you we are in a very very serious relationship right now, he just doesn't know yet, and that's ok with me, I don't mind building the foundation of our beloved relationship. Ha! Oh reality, don't you love the reality of it all.

I can't stare too long, because then he'll know.
He'll know what I don't want him to know that I know he might know...feel me?
I'm not letting him think anything about my sexuality without him having to find a reason to bring it up. Maybe some people just don;t identify with labels. I mean, labels are for cans and closets are for clothes. Own your shit or go home. The lines get blurred and we become complacent where we stand. For the time being, I can't put any lines out which may get blurred.
Have to ride it out...
After all, it's my ambiguous crush..

I mean really?!

Why is it that most police officers you see on TV tend to always be really hot and really nice, like they have time for you, because you know, they are their for the civilians of the township, right? Well apparently this only works on TV, because I couldn't get a word in edge wise, with these real life cops. Well I'm exaggerating a little bit, but mostly, the energy was intimidating until towards the end.

See, I have these asshole neighbors that love to make noise at odd hours of the day and night. By which I mean, loud TV or really loud odors of ethnic food, which if you ask me, I don't want to know.

Remember the fuckers that were cooking onions at eleven o' clock at night? Yeah, that's them. Point being, we had a little noise battle out today. My mom went downstairs at like 10:30 am to tell them to lower their noise, and proceeded to insult their choice of cuisine. I'm just saying. She came back upstairs and mentioned she told the downstairs neighbor, that it smells like they are cooking dog. I busted up laughing. I mean, how can anyone say that to anyone? My mom, then continued on the banter and said she would call the cops because their noise is so fucking loud! I mean really?! Is the loud volume really that necessary?! No need to answer the rhetoric of stupidity within the human population, which I pose as a question, it's more of a look than an answer. :: Insert look here ::

Two and a half hours later (from the time we placed the complaint), the police show up. They are nice, but somewhat authoritatively aggravatingly pompously arrogant. I guess that's because they really can't do anything about anything really. So why the fuck are they there in the first place, to tell me to write a letter the the homeowners association?! Whatever happened to the days when police officers used to be the officers that go out of their way and jurisdiction just to make a citizen of the city, town or what-have-you, feel safe and protected. I guess the bold answered the question...used to.

So I told the officers (not ones I would hit on mind you), the chain of events that led up to their arrival and one actually scoffed back. Apparently the people downstairs were so upset by my mom claiming she'd call the cops on them, they decided to call the cops instead. An hour or so later the asshole started banging on my door, and yelling obscenities. Imagine a belligerent drunk banging on the door. . . :: Deep breaths:: Seriously, this asshole gave me a panic attack, I mean why try to knock my door down with your unappreciated loud and rude knocking? I mean hello?!?! What are you the big bad wolf?!

Asshole.

The next day around One o' clock, the man proceeded to continue the war over noise and smelly food, and once again huffed and puffed, and I still didn't answer.
Seriously though, the only way to really evade these situations is to live in a house that is owned, and not a fucking apartment complex with crazy residents. Whatever, I'll make it one day, and never have to deal with this shit again!
So what can I do? I blog and then...

I get over it.


That asshole is definitely on the list!

The List...

So I have taken it upon myself to come up with 'The List'.
This list is dedicated to all those out there who piss us off in everyday life.
you know when you are having a beautiful day, the sun is shining, your dry cleaning is ready on time, there's no line at the bank, your friend invites you to coffee, down to the mysterious five dollar bill you find in your jeans that same day. But then it strikes, you could be in traffic, or in line and there you have the motherfucking asshole piece of shit hijo de la fregada chingada desgraciada, (I'm multi-lingual, so I tend to be profane in spanglish..ha) you know, I mean I get pissed, and I'm sure you get pissed.
I am all about human-kind and communication and the rhetoric of human behavior, I got my BA in Speech Communications, so believe me I know people and their communication habits and quirks, but dammit!? Seriously people, do you have to be so aggravating, causing people like me to go volatile! I mean, really. So this list all started with my vulgar mouth. forgive me..

Let me interject how pissed off I am right now (and I'm not a pissed off type-kinda-guy,)..whoever thought it was smart to cook onions at eleven o' clock at night is fucking off their fucking rocker!! The complex which my Mom and I live in, has some crazy people that cook crazy food!! I swear sometimes I wonder if they are cooking their animals! WHAT??!?! It reeks! I swear these people..I can't even finish this sentence. I just need to be rich and get us a house! Fuck living in a fucking complex! They can suck it!!! <- see, I did it! That's the example I'm trying to show, which is how pissed off people get us! Yes, the voice of reason, Eleanor Roosevelt says, "No one can make you feel..without your permission.." , but that doesn't come into play here. My throat fucking hurts from this fucking onion! I mean really?! at 11pm?!

back to the story:

So I'm driving and this bitch cuts me off...my gut reaction, I speak aloud (lol, cause you can't not speak out loud right?!) and say, "You Bitch!" Eventually as the moments progress, the stupidities escalate the moment stupid people become stupider than you'd even imagine. Yes, stupider is a word. I just made it one.
From "You Bitch!, Suck my dick!" to "Asshole!" or "Cunt!" pick one, it's tons of fun!... I told you vulgar! Hey I warned you.
So I'm sure you all at one point have that road rage, or grocery-store tantrum moments..but really think about it..they all add up!!

I went on this mission to cut back on my harsh language, so instead of yelling profanities at these yahoos, I created a line... as in stand in the..
Imagine a crimson velvet rope. This rope is the kind you have at a bank or concert line. They have to stand in line to suck it. fucking mother fuckers! If I'm really pissed at the person, they get moved to the back of the metaphorical line.
Just imagine all these people which you choose to yell profanities at, or those schmucks you want to yell, ""Lick It!" to...
Now just put 'em all in line!

Eventually, telling so many assholes to stand in line, just didn't cut it. You know the line would get way too long.
So I devised a list.
No not a real one, just a metaphorical list if you will..
So, you know, instead of telling stupid drivers that need their license revoked to suck it, just tell 'em, "You're on the fucking list bitch!!" or you can be kinder about it...

Remember that fucking neighbor that cooks onion...Yeah, she's on the list!

Hormones...

So here I am in the Valley, Southern California, and you know, I never understood the whole game thing. I mean there's a point to it, wanting what you can't have, then having it and having the option of realizing if you truly want it or not.

But really?! If the energy between two people is completely cohesive, then why not go with it? Our instinct tells us to ignore our hearts and lead with hormones, ergo the game of cat and mouse.

I went on-line in search of love. Crazy right?! I mean go on any gay dating site and all you have in your face is a bunch of attractive sexually appetizing models ready to feed you eight inches of raw meat? I mean really?! I get it, we are all horny, but jeez. . . which brings me to my on-line dating reference. I posted an ad, and decided not to post a picture, to save face, if you will. I would rather meet someone who isn't interested in my looks and more interested in what I have to offer right?! This is LA, and people tend to be somewhat plastic, not all, just generalizing. In real life, one needs another to have substance. .Well, after viewing countless personal ads, I find two that seem promising. I'm looking for someone who wants sex all the time right?! but not on the first date. Everyone here just wants me to jump in their car for a quickie, so to speak. All that leads to sex-games, heartache and frustration. I don't need that.

After a few e-mails, I decide to take it to the next level: Instant Messaging.

OK this is the part that drives me crazy!!

Why do people make themselves out to be approachable on-line, but take five minutes to get a sentence out?? Only when they are more anxious than me, do they seem more talkative via keyboard, than the other way around. I mean WTF?? Talk about a convoluted crisis...

You either want to chat or not. Then stupid me decides to wait and wait and see if he'll be on-line, only to find him on-line but unreachable or non responsive to conversation. Is this the truth behind real Internet dating?? Probably not, I should just try meeting people out there in the real world. Here's the kicker, this guy goes to the same educational institution (college) (it just sounded better in my head) as I, is studying the same field as I, yet we never met. What would the chances be that I managed to find this person on-line? Serendipity or coincidence?? Probably hormones. . .

After doing some foot work, I find out he is in the classroom next to mine.

He looked older in real life, than that of his posted picture; the sound of his voice wasn't attractive, and let me just say this guys: men or guys (who pass off as men), better have a SEXY, MASCULINE tone and demeanor, (I don't judge, to each their own, but if I wanted to date a girl, I would, I don't do that queenie shit...)

needless to say, we eventually made the 'eye contact' exchange in passing (slyly planned by me) and I played it off as if I didn't know he existed. What makes it even juicier of a coincidence, this guy (I don't even remember his name) became all Buddy buddy with my closeted-ex-boyfriend's mom, who was in my class (ex's mom)... and she's his adoptive mom, who adopts someone at 23? (That ex is a whole other story) Maybe she knows about her 'son' and is trying to set him up...I know right?!

And all this from placing a stupid ad on this site Adam4Adam, which I think is a waste.

Throughout my experiences, most guys tend to run away. The only time I walked away was when I felt neglected in the relationship and knew there wasn't room for growth. Bleak I know, but it is what it is.

I find myself sexually frustrated from day to day, longing for that sexual gratification from the ideal partner right? Yet I don't seek it for the sake of sexual romantic sustenance. It's the fact that I'm still living at home in a one bedroom apartment doesn't facilitate my cause.

All in time, and I just need to get out.

Let's face it Internet dating isn't for people on a time crunch, or people lacking social skills. Internet dating is for booty-calls and hook-ups, not true love.

I don't knock it because I despise, I knock it because I've been there, done that, and moved on. It's time for the real thing.

Guess it's time to get off the instant messenger, and get on with the living.

Here's my motto folks,

"I don't solicit myself, just meet me when you can."

Let's see what tomorrow has to say...