The List...

So I have taken it upon myself to come up with 'The List'.
This list is dedicated to all those out there who piss us off in everyday life.
you know when you are having a beautiful day, the sun is shining, your dry cleaning is ready on time, there's no line at the bank, your friend invites you to coffee, down to the mysterious five dollar bill you find in your jeans that same day. But then it strikes, you could be in traffic, or in line and there you have the motherfucking asshole piece of shit hijo de la fregada chingada desgraciada, (I'm multi-lingual, so I tend to be profane in spanglish..ha) you know, I mean I get pissed, and I'm sure you get pissed.
I am all about human-kind and communication and the rhetoric of human behavior, I got my BA in Speech Communications, so believe me I know people and their communication habits and quirks, but dammit!? Seriously people, do you have to be so aggravating, causing people like me to go volatile! I mean, really. So this list all started with my vulgar mouth. forgive me..

Let me interject how pissed off I am right now (and I'm not a pissed off type-kinda-guy,)..whoever thought it was smart to cook onions at eleven o' clock at night is fucking off their fucking rocker!! The complex which my Mom and I live in, has some crazy people that cook crazy food!! I swear sometimes I wonder if they are cooking their animals! WHAT??!?! It reeks! I swear these people..I can't even finish this sentence. I just need to be rich and get us a house! Fuck living in a fucking complex! They can suck it!!! <- see, I did it! That's the example I'm trying to show, which is how pissed off people get us! Yes, the voice of reason, Eleanor Roosevelt says, "No one can make you feel..without your permission.." , but that doesn't come into play here. My throat fucking hurts from this fucking onion! I mean really?! at 11pm?!

back to the story:

So I'm driving and this bitch cuts me off...my gut reaction, I speak aloud (lol, cause you can't not speak out loud right?!) and say, "You Bitch!" Eventually as the moments progress, the stupidities escalate the moment stupid people become stupider than you'd even imagine. Yes, stupider is a word. I just made it one.
From "You Bitch!, Suck my dick!" to "Asshole!" or "Cunt!" pick one, it's tons of fun!... I told you vulgar! Hey I warned you.
So I'm sure you all at one point have that road rage, or grocery-store tantrum moments..but really think about it..they all add up!!

I went on this mission to cut back on my harsh language, so instead of yelling profanities at these yahoos, I created a line... as in stand in the..
Imagine a crimson velvet rope. This rope is the kind you have at a bank or concert line. They have to stand in line to suck it. fucking mother fuckers! If I'm really pissed at the person, they get moved to the back of the metaphorical line.
Just imagine all these people which you choose to yell profanities at, or those schmucks you want to yell, ""Lick It!" to...
Now just put 'em all in line!

Eventually, telling so many assholes to stand in line, just didn't cut it. You know the line would get way too long.
So I devised a list.
No not a real one, just a metaphorical list if you will..
So, you know, instead of telling stupid drivers that need their license revoked to suck it, just tell 'em, "You're on the fucking list bitch!!" or you can be kinder about it...

Remember that fucking neighbor that cooks onion...Yeah, she's on the list!